Open Wide

I have a dentist appointment this afternoon, which always makes me nostalgic for my childhood dentist, who fashioned a balloon animal for me at the end of every visit as a reward for, you know, not screaming the entire time or trying to bite off his hand or anything. Looking back on it, this seems somewhat counterintuitive; everyone knows that the ability to make balloon animals automatically makes you a clown. Why try to alleviate children's fears by combining two of the scariest creatures imaginable: a dentist AND a clown?

No thanks.