Is it me, or does there seem to be a growing trend in popular culture of competing to see who can create the biggest and best spectacle to celebrate major lifetime milestones? MTV chronicles bratty teenagers in their quest to have the Superest Sweet 16 party, because cupcakes and Spin the Bottle aren't good enough anymore. The first question posed to the recently engaged (after asking to see the ring) is "How did he propose?" because simply asking "Will you marry me?" is now seen as laziness on the guy's behalf. Weddings, too, are becoming more expensive and more elaborate as we try to keep up with the glitz and glamour of Hollywood nuptials.
One trend, however, that I'm totally on board with is coming up with creative ways to preserve one's remains. Of course, bragging rights are a little limited, since you're dead and all, but you leave your descendents with a really cool story to tell. For example, although my grandfather's passing a few weeks ago was quite sad, I do delight in telling people that my grandmother is currently storing his ashes in one of his beer steins. Although this wasn't so much his specified wishes as a half-joking suggestion of my mother's, I know he's thrilled to be preserved in a way that reflects his pride of his German heritage.
And then yesterday I read an article on CNN.com about something that happened in Cincinnati that didn't involve one of the Bengals getting arrested. Fredric J. Baur passed away on May 4 at the age of 89. Mr. Baur, the designer of the famous "once you pop, you can't stop" Pringles can, requested that a portion of his cremated remains be buried in a Pringles can. And so, in a cemetery somewhere in suburban Springfield Township, Ohio, Fredric J. Baur is proudly buried inside his legendary invention.
This is one of the most awesome things I have heard in awhile, so I am officially opening up the floor for suggestions on a great way I can be buried. I mean, I'm hoping I won't have to use any of these ideas for a long time, but I like being prepared. I was a Girl Scout, after all. (But I hated it about 98% of the time, so don't start suggesting that I be buried inside a sit-a-can or a mess kit.)
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Five inventions that have improved my life
Hi there, reader! (Readers? Maybe? Am I lucky enough to make that plural yet?) Today for your reading pleasure I present: five awesome products that you should definitely use (or just three products if you're a dude who doesn't occasionally experiment with the cross-dressing lifestyle).
I can't guarantee that these are the five inventions that have had the GREATEST impact on my life, because I think those types of titles should be reserved from assignment until I'm on my deathbed (how do I know that something better isn't going to come along tomorrow?), but believe you me they are pretty dern fantastic.
5. The Skinny Cow Ice Cream Products
I have a problem in that I'm a girl who tries to be skinny, but who also LOVES food. Especially ice cream when it's hot outside. And since I live in Atlanta, that's pretty much all the time. Sure, sometimes an ice cream craving is so strong or a day is so fabulously crappy that really the only cure is Cold Stone, but for all other occasions The Skinny Cow is the perfect fit. Their ice cream actually tastes like ice cream, rather than cardboard like some other low-fat ice cream products, or chalk like astronaut ice cream. (Remember that stuff they made us eat in elementary school? Gross.) Found in most grocery stores, The Skinny Dippers bars have only 80 calories per bar (3 g fat, 2 g saturated fat) and the ice cream sandwiches (which I recommend slightly higher, the mint flavor in particular) have only 140 calories per sandwich (2 g fat, 1 g saturated fat). Keep a box in your freezer; you won't regret it.
4. Kayak.com
2008 is turning into a year of major traveling for me. The most recent count is one cruise, two funerals, and four weddings (one down, three to go). And of course none of them are within driving distance. Two things I do not have much of are money and time. Problem: How do I find the cheapest flights when I don't have time to search all the individual airlines' websites? Solution: Kayak.com. Much easier to navigate than other travel websites like Orbitz and Travelocity, Kayak quickly searches all the airline websites and other travel sites as well, then lists all the flights from cheapest to heart-attack-inducing. You can narrow the results by specifying exact times of day you'd like to fly, nonstop vs. layover, or by choosing only certain airlines to display in the results.
3. Maybelline Expert Wear Eye Shadow Quads
This is a new recommendation. I purchased this eye shadow (different color than shown in photo) two weeks ago, when I was struck by that urge to change my makeup routine (an urge that strikes only about once every five years, by the way). Maybelline has created a product that is so idiot-proof I'm still shaking my head in amazement. First, they grouped together four shades that complement each other, so you don't have to consult the bored and clueless 17-year-old restocking the cosmetic shelves at Target. Second, they imprinted each shade with the location of the eye on which to apply. Third, on the back of the case is a diagram for those who need EVEN MORE HELP -- like me -- to figure out where the crease and brow bone are (seriously, I think I missed that class in pretty girl school). Added bonus: instructions on which shades you should use to achieve a subtle, casual, classic, or dramatic look. On behalf of those who need all the help we can get to look hot, thank you Maybelline!
2. Victoria's Secret BioFit Bra
I scoffed at the commercials for the BioFit when I first saw them ("You'll feel like it was CUSTOM MADE just for you, and you WILL believe us since we're speaking in such a DRAMATIC VOICE!") but after trying one on, I'm a believer. Due to my "problem" of having healthy-sized bazongas, I've had to avoid padded bras in the past. Too much padding = circus freak! But the BioFit has different amounts of padding depending on your cup size, and the result makes the girls look pretty good, I think. Tron* will probably second that opinion. And it's comfortable to boot. The only downside is the cost: $45-$48. However, Victoria's Secret is currently offering some BioFits during their Semi-Annual Sale for only $24.99. Just be warned that the only colors on clearance are Daring Orange, Flamingo Pink, and other neon wonders.
1. TiVo
Other than my wonderful cat, TiVo is the best gift I have ever received. I think the TiVo marketing department should consider an advertising campaign based around the concept, "Once you go black..." When I think about how TV ruled my life in the pre-TiVo era, I can't help but laugh. Gone are the days of scrambling to find a blank videotape before Grey's Anatomy starts, or trying to remember what channel is NBC, or wondering if American Idol is half an hour or an hour long this week. No longer do I absentmindedly channel surf in a vain attempt to find something to watch; I either pull up the Guide that shows at a glance what's on TV at the moment, or watch one of the shows that TiVo nicely recorded as a recommendation based on my previous viewing habits. No more cutting social outings short because LOST starts in FIVE MINUTES and I have to get home; no, I can watch my shows whenever I please. (That's not to say my social life doesn't suffer at all. I no longer answer calls or texts when I'm watching TiVo, as the outcome of more than one sporting event or reality show has been spoiled due to the TiVo-less not understanding the concept of "hey, I'm not watching this live, so don't tell me what happens.") If you don't believe anything else I say, take my word for it: Once you go TiVo, you'll never go back...o.
*Tron is the internet alias requested by my dear boyfriend, and it is henceforth how he will be referred to on this blog.
I can't guarantee that these are the five inventions that have had the GREATEST impact on my life, because I think those types of titles should be reserved from assignment until I'm on my deathbed (how do I know that something better isn't going to come along tomorrow?), but believe you me they are pretty dern fantastic.
5. The Skinny Cow Ice Cream Products
I have a problem in that I'm a girl who tries to be skinny, but who also LOVES food. Especially ice cream when it's hot outside. And since I live in Atlanta, that's pretty much all the time. Sure, sometimes an ice cream craving is so strong or a day is so fabulously crappy that really the only cure is Cold Stone, but for all other occasions The Skinny Cow is the perfect fit. Their ice cream actually tastes like ice cream, rather than cardboard like some other low-fat ice cream products, or chalk like astronaut ice cream. (Remember that stuff they made us eat in elementary school? Gross.) Found in most grocery stores, The Skinny Dippers bars have only 80 calories per bar (3 g fat, 2 g saturated fat) and the ice cream sandwiches (which I recommend slightly higher, the mint flavor in particular) have only 140 calories per sandwich (2 g fat, 1 g saturated fat). Keep a box in your freezer; you won't regret it.4. Kayak.com
2008 is turning into a year of major traveling for me. The most recent count is one cruise, two funerals, and four weddings (one down, three to go). And of course none of them are within driving distance. Two things I do not have much of are money and time. Problem: How do I find the cheapest flights when I don't have time to search all the individual airlines' websites? Solution: Kayak.com. Much easier to navigate than other travel websites like Orbitz and Travelocity, Kayak quickly searches all the airline websites and other travel sites as well, then lists all the flights from cheapest to heart-attack-inducing. You can narrow the results by specifying exact times of day you'd like to fly, nonstop vs. layover, or by choosing only certain airlines to display in the results.
3. Maybelline Expert Wear Eye Shadow Quads
This is a new recommendation. I purchased this eye shadow (different color than shown in photo) two weeks ago, when I was struck by that urge to change my makeup routine (an urge that strikes only about once every five years, by the way). Maybelline has created a product that is so idiot-proof I'm still shaking my head in amazement. First, they grouped together four shades that complement each other, so you don't have to consult the bored and clueless 17-year-old restocking the cosmetic shelves at Target. Second, they imprinted each shade with the location of the eye on which to apply. Third, on the back of the case is a diagram for those who need EVEN MORE HELP -- like me -- to figure out where the crease and brow bone are (seriously, I think I missed that class in pretty girl school). Added bonus: instructions on which shades you should use to achieve a subtle, casual, classic, or dramatic look. On behalf of those who need all the help we can get to look hot, thank you Maybelline!2. Victoria's Secret BioFit Bra
I scoffed at the commercials for the BioFit when I first saw them ("You'll feel like it was CUSTOM MADE just for you, and you WILL believe us since we're speaking in such a DRAMATIC VOICE!") but after trying one on, I'm a believer. Due to my "problem" of having healthy-sized bazongas, I've had to avoid padded bras in the past. Too much padding = circus freak! But the BioFit has different amounts of padding depending on your cup size, and the result makes the girls look pretty good, I think. Tron* will probably second that opinion. And it's comfortable to boot. The only downside is the cost: $45-$48. However, Victoria's Secret is currently offering some BioFits during their Semi-Annual Sale for only $24.99. Just be warned that the only colors on clearance are Daring Orange, Flamingo Pink, and other neon wonders.1. TiVo
Other than my wonderful cat, TiVo is the best gift I have ever received. I think the TiVo marketing department should consider an advertising campaign based around the concept, "Once you go black..." When I think about how TV ruled my life in the pre-TiVo era, I can't help but laugh. Gone are the days of scrambling to find a blank videotape before Grey's Anatomy starts, or trying to remember what channel is NBC, or wondering if American Idol is half an hour or an hour long this week. No longer do I absentmindedly channel surf in a vain attempt to find something to watch; I either pull up the Guide that shows at a glance what's on TV at the moment, or watch one of the shows that TiVo nicely recorded as a recommendation based on my previous viewing habits. No more cutting social outings short because LOST starts in FIVE MINUTES and I have to get home; no, I can watch my shows whenever I please. (That's not to say my social life doesn't suffer at all. I no longer answer calls or texts when I'm watching TiVo, as the outcome of more than one sporting event or reality show has been spoiled due to the TiVo-less not understanding the concept of "hey, I'm not watching this live, so don't tell me what happens.") If you don't believe anything else I say, take my word for it: Once you go TiVo, you'll never go back...o.*Tron is the internet alias requested by my dear boyfriend, and it is henceforth how he will be referred to on this blog.
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